I've been thinking about whether I should write this here or not and finally decided to do it. In my last week of my pregnancy with Cecilia, I was on bed rest at Swedish hospital. Things looked pretty bad, I had been bleeding for a few weeks, my amniotic fluid was almost completely gone and the baby wasn't thriving. I was obviously desperate. I knew that most likely I would give birth soon (I was only 23 weeks when they admitted me in the hospital and then 24). I was praying 2 rosaries daily (one for me and the baby and one for Dominic's cousin who was due around that time too but wanted to get her tubes tied after the delivery and I prayed that she would change her mind...and she did). I was doing novenas, litanies, you name it. Every time someone asked me if I was bored being on bed rest so long, I would say that I'm actually very busy praying and reading about prematurity, so I wasn't bored.
They kept checking my amniotic fluid to see if it was growing and I was so anxious about that, that I started praying to St. Gianna Beretta Molla (the one who sacrificed her life for the life of her unborn daughter) to make a miracle and make that amniotic fluid grow back because I wanted my baby to be born at term and be healthy and normal. I asked the Blessed Mother for the same thing and...here it goes...I made a promise (and I'll talk more about making promises later) I promised the Blessed Mother that if she made a miracle and helped my little girl (I knew it was a girl) be perfectly healthy, I WOULD DEDICATE MY LIFE TO MY CHILDREN, and I WOULD TAKE THEM TO DAILY MASS EVERY DAY. Now this was a desperate mother praying for the life of her daughter , whom she so much wanted. Someone who was never in the situation of almost losing a child cannot understand how desperate a mother can be, how she would promise anything.
Well, my prayers were obviously answered, not exactly in the way I wanted (the amniotic fluid didn't grow) but in the end Cecilia turned out to be perfectly healthy even though she was born 16 weeks early.
After all the craziness with Cecilia being in the hospital for 4 months and then at home, I just couldn't find the time to go to daily mass. As the years went by I kept trying and still I couldn't do it because our local church has mass at 8am and the boys have to be in school at 8:55am so there's no time.
Recently I prayed that I would find a way to take the kids to church every day and soon after it occurred to me that we can go to Blessed Sacrament at 5:30pm. I have all the intentions of going from now on too but only if it doesn't interfere with dinner, homework etc. I hope the Blessed Mother will give me credit for doing my best.
What I've learned from this is that we should never promise God or the Blessed Mother anything because we don't know if we can keep our promise, we can always promise to do our best though. I told this to Teddy and he learned the lesson.
I'd really like to know people's opinions about this since it's something I've been thinking and worrying about for the past 3 1/2 years. I'm hoping that whoever reads this will leave a comment. It can be in English or Romanian, it doesn't matter.